Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Restless

Lately I have been quite restless. I am anxious for the school year to start, but more so I am anxious for my State Hearing to take place on the 23rd. I now have a lady, whom I worked with, who is willing to speak on my behalf. She has already spoken with my Union Representative, Janet Crean (Crane), and I am meeting with her tomorrow for lunch so we can go over the information that she is willing to refute, if she is called upon. I am so excited! It has been a real rollacoaster of thoughts, emotions, and dreams. Sheesh! The dreams I have been having! Some are so crazy I wake up thinking I am in that reality. (Very weird feeling)

As of late I have been establishing a lot of change in my life. Such as the way that I present myself, what I am eating (it is hard to change one's diet quickly), exercising regularly, getting up early and being productive in my daily habits, reading my Bible every morning & night, and so much more. My thought process has been a special focus of mine. I have been so intent on changing it, I have been prone to recurrent headaches upon waking in the morning. This morning especially. It was so bad this morning that I elected to stay in bed and do nothing. It probably made it worse, but that's what I did. =)

For those of you who happen to read this, and are privileged enough to be going to the 1st Annual P.E.A.K. Youth Conference in Tulsa, OK. Are you excited or what!?!?!? I can't wait until we get there! I feel like I have been waiting for this since I came back to the church, even though I didn't know it was going to be happen until this year.

Speaking of the past few years, so much has happened. On January 5th, 2007, I moved out from living with my ex-boyfriend to living on my own (and since then I have moved 4 times, YUCK), and started my new life in the revelation of who God truly is to me. I have never had revelations like what God has given me in the past 18 1/2 months. Since the beginning of the year, it seems as if God speaks to me daily in tha still small voice of his. (Isn't it weird how sometimes thoughts that resound in your own voice seem somehow divine?) Even in the smallest things like what people say, or (for instance) today I was reading "The Spider King" which is the story of Louis XI of France. In the story it relates how he suffered from seizures. A rare symptom that occured after a two of the (recorded) seizures was a feeling of pure bliss and an attitude of complete positiveness. Nothing could go wrong and no one could perturb him out of this blissfulness until the "spell" had passed. (I wrote all that to say this) At a time when he was almost at war with the Duke of Burgundy, he went to meet with the Duke & parley (negotiate) terms of a treaty to bypass war. His blissful attitude completely confused the Duke & his advisers. The result of his positive attitude confusing the Duke saved his life from the mistake of entering the castle ungaurded.

I guess what I am trying to say is that having a good attitude seems to effect the outcome of any negative situation in a positive way. I have been learing that quite soundly as of late. =) Even if the result seems like it foils human plans of success, I have come to rely on the fact that whatever happens, it is because God allowed it to. The result is all apart of God's divine plan to teach me a lesson. =) In each lesson that I learn, I become more inept to deal with each increasingly difficult situation that comes my way. By the time I am in my retirement years I will be writing books on the lessons I've learned. =)


Yipes! It's almost 1 o'clock!! Gotta catch some ZZZ's! Hope you enjoyed my ramblings!

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