Are you stronger now then you were back then?

I have been thinking about when I first came back to church. Every little thing and at every turn I was thanking God for his many blessings or "casting my cares upon him". Somewhere over the past two years, I seem to have lost some of that closeness and intimacy. Where did it go? I have been asking myself this question a lot lately. Certain circumstances recently have started me thinking along those forgotten intimacies of my renewed relationsip with God. I am finding that I have been discontented with my current spiritual walk as well as my relationships. I have been saying to myself....There has to be something more, something deeper than what I am feeling or doing. I want my life to have meaning...purpose...reasoning behind my motives and desires. Where did that go? How did I loose that along the way? Most importantly, How do I get it back? or at least incorporate it into my life now, if I didn't before.

Yea, I have a semblence of a prayer life and I read my Bible everyday, but where is the depth of my walk with God like I have always desired? When will I get there? or at least feel like I have gained some ground?

So my question of "Are you stronger now then you were back then?" comes to mind. When I first came back to church, and my faith seemed unshakable....was I just a seed that fell on shallow ground springing up almost immediately only to die away quickly? or did one of those delicate little roots take hold of something that was stronger than I.....something that has strengthened me over the past two years into a Godly and righteous woman. The example I have always wanted to be, as Sister Wilson is.....am I finally becoming that person? Is this really the time that God promised would come to pass? If it is....I know there are many more battles to fight, but I know that the little root that found strength in the soil of God and his word, is never letting go no matter what storms may come.

Prayer changes things.....